Just so we’re all on the same page, here… I’m referring to the game Othello…

I love Othello. When my daughter brings it out of the closet and waves it under my nose, I nearly drool (well.. not really.. because that would be gross, and totally not cool. – Is ‘cool’ still the cool word to use, btw?-).

Oh, and she’s getting pretty good.

So we played several days ago. The kid beat me (that’ll teach me to learn her so good the next time we find a new game ). I wasn’t thrilled to have lost, but at the same time… I was. I mean, we’ve been playing this now for long enough that I no longer hold back.

At all.

And she beat me. (That’s my girl!!)

So, tonight she brings it to me and I plop right down on the office floor to help her set it up. I’m focused,  and she’s ready to make it a winning streak.

I find myself mentally patting myself on the back, because my eye keeps being drawn to these really great moves that will take entire rows of her little white pieces all at once. After 2 or 3 times of this, I realized that she’s still kicking my butt.

What the…???

Then it dawned on me: I’d forgotten the basics in trying to go too hard, too fast & make. that. win!

While I was busy patting myself on the back for my ‘advanced’ strategy… she was covering the basics. Here she was making sure that she was hitting all the stuff I’d taught her, and that was blowing my ‘advanced strategies’ out of the water. Hmmm….

So, then I can’t help but wonder: ‘where else in life am I pushing too hard, too fast & trying to make the win with brute force’???

Hmmmm… I dunno, maybe just about EVERYWHERE?? Perhaps this is why I’m feeling a bit on the exhausted side? (Really, when random people start commenting on how tired you look, you might want to take the hint…. Just sayin’…)

So, this has given me some food for thought (and yet another item on my to-do list… because that’s just exactly what I need).

How do you feel about it? Talk back!

(Long story short… I did win.  I love a good underdog story as much as the next gal, but c’mon… this is MY game )

(Originally posted on 5/16/10)

We were on vacation this past week, though to see my husband and I working each day on the house… you’d never know it. Now, in fairness, we got soooo much work done (on the house) that we’d been putting off for various time-frames (up to four years!). It looks much better now, front and back as well as the paint in one of the bathrooms (yay!), and I’m so grateful that my husband pushed as hard as he did to get so much of this done. Now we can actually enjoy the kids, the house, the pool, etc.. over the summer rather than worrying (each and every weekend) how we were going to balance the responsibilities of having a house with the responsibilities of being a parent (including having fun!).

All that said….. I’m feeling a bit like a human doing rather than a human being now at the end of it. Back to work tomorrow morning, and it feels like I’ve gotten very little of the R&R that I’d so craved.

Isn’t it all too easy to get caught up on the do-do-do wheel? Do you find the same thing happening to you? Do you feel guilty if you’re not constantly working on something, or accomplishing something? Part of me felt guilty the few times that I did kind of hang out and not do the work on the house… and part of me really ate it up!

I keep having that thought run through my head… the one about “is this going to matter to me when I’m on my deathbed?”. Frankly, when I do ask myself that, the answer (almost always!) is a firm NO. So why do I continue to do the things that I know won’t really make a difference in the scheme of things? I have responsibilities to meet, children to support and provide for, we want to have nice things (including a nice home, nice cars, nice clothing, and a bunch of other ‘nice stuff’), the list goes on and on… and the human being continues to get buried (and suffocated) underneath all of this human doing.

So, I’m wondering… how do I counteract all of this?

My first step is waking earlier again, in order to a) start working out each morning; b) meditate for at least 15 minutes, and at least once per day to start; c) take time to journal. I’m creating a plan to fit all of these (very important) items into my day, each day, beginning immediately.

What do you do in order to make sure that you stay in touch with your human being self, and don’t become a ‘human doing’?

(Originally posted on 4/13/10)

I had a half day at work today & on my way home had to stop by the post office to mail off a cd to a friend… As I was leaving the post office (with the windows up, as I have been itchy beyond belief though I am usually immune to normal allergy issues that have been irritating others) I was thinking about the trees and plants that are causing all of us so much trouble right now. I looked to my left and saw two of the most majestic looking old trees that have caught my attention in a while. These trees had massively thick, heavy branches that were wordlessly calling out to me to come sit in them and contemplate the mysteries of life…. or not. They looked to be perfectly suited for just hanging out and listening to the breeze and the birds, and they made me feel a true yearning for simpler times. I imagined times past when it was perfectly acceptable, expected even, to see a family sitting outside of their home talking with each other (gasp!) and their neighbors. A time when people were able to sit and relax, and to just be. No stress over what’s yet to be done or multitasking five different things while sitting and talking with friends and neighbors (all the while watching the clock and feeling guilty for not doing more). I came home and started to do, do, do… and then just stopped.

And then I took a nap.

I feel like a human being again now.. and not a human doing… Sometimes the cliche’s (ie ‘stop and smell the roses’) are such for good reason. The very moments when it feels like there’s no way to catch up and keep up.. are the very moments when we really should stop and look around, and remember to just be.

(Originally posted on 3/3/10)

Ok I admit it. I’m an information junkie. And right now I am in serious information overload. I am reasonably certain that I’m on at least 456,324 digital mailing lists, not to mention the snail mail and catalogs that arrive in our mailbox each day. The good news is, apparently the post office is considering the possibility of no longer delivering our junk mail to us on Saturdays.

I am terrified that if I cancel any of these subscriptions, I may just miss out on something of the utmost importance. Something that could be ‘just-the-right-thing/idea/etc…-that-I-NEED-to-get-me-out-of-this-rut’. If it’s a sales pitch, it could give me a great idea of my own. Don’t dare unsubscribe from those. If it’s related to my spirituality or self-development information in any way I don’t dare unsubscribe from those as that’s what really feeds me (and could also give me the ‘NEXT BIG IDEA!’). So many e-mails (and that’s just personal, not to mention work!).

I went through my side of the bookshelf today, something I’ve been wanting to do for weeks. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders when I was able to donate lots of the books and magazines to the library, though it was difficult to let go of any of it. I mean, some of these things I’d been holding on to for years. Literally 10 years in some cases. Some of these I hardly recognized and know for certain I’ve not read

Information overload.

I. Am. Fried.

Time to just let go of a bunch of it.. just purge and let it go so that I can breathe again.