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The change is official

July 21, 2011 By Leave a Comment

About a month ago (holy crap, has it been that long already?!) I did a quick video about potential changes coming up for An Experiment In Gratitude.

I’d been considering shutting it down, so that I could move everything (blog posts, attention, efforts, etc…) over to my new sites: My Mosaic Life and AnotherWhichIsInTransitionSoIWon’tGiveItToYouHere :-) .

Since then, I’ve been struggling with this idea.

Part of me thought it was a great idea because I’ve not had the time or energy to give any one thing (any of the sites) what they deserve in the way of my time and attention. On the other hand, each time I thought about pulling it down… I just wanted to cry.

It felt like An Experiment In Gratitude was my baby (and it kind of was!), and I felt like I’d be letting you down by no longer having it as part of my online home. [Insert more tears here]

It’s been a really difficult decision.

However.

It’s time to make the change official. I’ll be pulling over old blog posts etc… from An Experiment In Gratitude to My Mosaic Life and I’d really (really! really!) love it if you’d join me over there.

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I’ve been so blessed in connecting with each of you here… You’re such a cool, eclectic, and supremely interesting group of people. You’re into the gratitude stuff (which will still be there on the new site!), you’re into growth, and I’m pretty sure that you’re into juicy living (which is a big part of what My Mosaic Life is all about!). How fun is all of that?!

Let me know if you have any comments or questions about the change coming up, and again… would really love to see you over on the new site. If you’re not digging it, I respect that too.

Thanks for the last year… it’s been such an amazing experience <3

Filed Under: Being Real, Simplicity, Transitions

And I cried

April 9, 2011 By 4 Comments

I’ve been doing so much healing work lately (which is fantabulous, and also hard!).

I’ve also been picking up some ‘lost’ pieces of myself in the strangest places.

For example, this evening I took my iTouch and dock into the bathroom with me for my shower. Turned up the musics and SANG my heart out (I might have even danced a tiny bit, but if you ask me I won’t admit it!).

It has been forever and a day (maybe even two!) since I’d last done this.

I came out of the shower a different creature from the one who’d gone in.

It was awesome.

Came back to the computer and turned on more music and continued purusing the interwebs.

My mix turned up Goodbye’s the Saddest Word. And so I let it play.

And I cried

And I cried

And I cried

Mind you… I normally do not cry. I normally refuse to allow emotion to come up which will (or may) prompt crying.

I have not listened to this song since my grandma died, several years ago, because I did not want to cry.

This was a big deal for me (HUGE).

And now… I smile

I feel lighter.

I feel clean & clear.

Like being outside after a great thunderstorm.

WOW. Is this what it’s like when you allow the tears and the emotion to actually move through you and come out?

Do you have a difficult time in allowing emotions?

Do you have a hard time allowing yourself to cry? (Can you cry in front of others? I’m not there yet, but will be!)

If you’re willing to share I’d really love to hear about your experiences with emotions and crying.. and any healing that comes from it!

Filed Under: Being Real

Just this one breath

March 20, 2011 By 6 Comments

Wispy web

I was thinking today about my dad. More specifically, about his insane schedule & working hours. He literally spends more time working (or going to/from work) than anything else.

I started to wonder what the hell he’s thinking, spending so much of his limited time on this planet solely on work-related activities.

I wondered what goals he’s working so diligently towards that he’s willing to trade such a disproportionately high percentage of days/hours/minutes (which cannot be bought back with any amount, or type, of currency) for them.

It suddenly dawned on me…. shit.

I’ve been doing the same damn thing.
 
I’ve been busting ass at a job that has no meaning to me; one that offers me absolutely nothing more than a paycheck.

And for what?

For my goals, of course (well, and because I always just thought that was the way things were done… but that’s a whole different story).

I keep wondering, though, what goals could possibly be so important that I waste the limited breaths that I’m given on things that don’t light me up? (And what am I missing by wasting those breaths there… and what about those who would benefit from me doing something that totally lights me up… what are they missing out on, and is it something that they really need? Something that would really make a difference for them too?)

We easily forget that we’re not promised tomorrow, let alone next week.

Really, all we have is just this one breath.

How are you choosing to spend the moments of that breath?
Filed Under: Being Real, Gratitude

Just another day. Or, ordinary miracles

March 16, 2011 By 6 Comments

An Ordinary Miracle

 
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Opening lyrics from Ordinary Miracle, by Sarah McLachlan:

 

“It’s not that unusual, when everything is beautiful; it’s just another ordinary miracle today.”

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Every day I wake, taking in a breath and becoming conscious of my surroundings again. My body has continued to breathe for me through the night, my heart has continued to pump life-sustaining blood through my veins. All without my assistance.
 
Just another day. Or, an ordinary miracle
 
I get ready for my day, and head out the door to drive to work. I have to put on my sunglasses, as I’m driving into the rising sun. It is magnificent beyond words, but most days I barely notice.
 
Just another day. Or, an ordinary miracle
 
I get to work and get logged in to my machine (I work in Information Technology). I take a look at whether there are any issues with any of the offices that we support, check my e-mail, begin monitoring of remote systems, and see what emergencies have popped up that need immediate attention.
 
Just another day. Or, an ordinary miracle
 
Finishing up my day, I get back in the car to join the hundreds of other tired people making the trek north to head home. Bumper to bumper traffic, and I get all the way home with no accidents (involving myself or any of those immediately around me).
 
Just another day. Or, an ordinary miracle
 
Get everyone home safely & head in to start the bath-time ritual, and getting dinner on the table. We have a comfortable house, running water, electricity, plenty of food, and each other… healthy and home together.
 
Just another day. Or, an ordinary miracle
 
Everyone is settled in for the evening, and if there’s a spare moment in the rush one of us may notice the sun setting (seemingly) in our backyard.
 
Just another day. Or, an ordinary miracle
 
Finally time to sleep. I have the most comfortable bed in the world & soooo love this time of day. I get to turn off my brain and let my body completely take over again.
 
Just another day. Or, an ordinary miracle
 
  • What ordinary miracles do you often miss in your day-to-day life?
  • Is there a way that you can regularly be more conscious of them?
  • How do you think it would affect your life if you were more conscious of those miracles?
Filed Under: Being Real, Gratitude, Simplicity

I had forgotten…

March 14, 2011 By 2 Comments

Endings... and beginnings

 

I had forgotten…. how good it feels to purge, and how getting rid of things no longer needed and/or loved can shift energy both externally and internally. I’ve been tearing through a couple of rooms in our house today, in preparation for an energy cleanse I’m doing for our home this week. I started with our closet, figuring it was no big deal and that it’d go quickly. It was a bigger deal than I realized, but it did go fairly quickly. I expanded from the closet to the rest of the bedroom. Now that the bedroom is done, I feel so much lighter and better every time I walk in there. I’m so proud of myself and feel so good for having been able to release so many things that no longer serve me there.
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I had forgotten…. about my affinity & love for crystals and stones. I picked up some new ones (a great piece of pointed clear quartz, tumbled tigers eye, raw garnet, rose quartz, and hematite.. just in case you’re curious) along with some white sage, yesterday for my upcoming space cleansing. I forgot how much I’m drawn to them, and how they make me feel. In remembering, I feel like I’ve reclaimed a piece of myself that I’d not consciously recognized was even missing. It feels like a bit of a homecoming, and it’s amazing.
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I had forgotten…. that I’m really really into energy work of all kinds. I used to be really into Reiki, and Quantum Touch, and anything involved with sensing and working with energy within and around me. None of this is to say that I’d ever developed any kind of mastery with any of it. I didn’t. I just really dug it. This remembering, too, feels like a homecoming. I feel like I’m coming back to me, FINALLY,  in a very real & very grounded way.
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So… what have you forgotten?
  • What have you forgotten about you… the real you?
  • What kinds of endings feel more truly like beginnings for you?
  • Do you feel like there are any pieces of you that are missing?

I’d love to hear from you!

(Oh, as I was cleaning & clearing, I had a song set to repeat…. It helped tons!! It’s a song done by Fabeku Fatunmise of Sankofa Song  specifically for Goddess Leonie & her Goddess Circle subscribers (of which I am one! And no, that’s not an affiliate link… None of these are. I just freaking LOVE these two & the work they’re doing!). There is plenty of drumming and all sorts of amazing goodness created for space clearing on that song so I actually set it to repeat in every room of our house through the day today. Love!)
Filed Under: Being Real, Gratitude, Transitions

How much we take for granted

March 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Sunset off the causeway

I was getting some of little dude’s laundry sorted & ready to start this morning. As I went through it… turning socks right side out, pulling pant legs out of the pants, spraying the stains that may or may not come out, etc… I started thinking about how much laundry he has, how many clothes he has available to him to wear (how much each of us in this little family has available to wear). I wondered.. what if we didn’t have all these things that we just take for granted:

*The washer & dryer that make my life soooo much easier (we do line dry initially to protect the clothes & save on electricity, but having the dryer to finish it up is oh-so-wonderful)

*All of these clothes & shoes, jackets, swim-suits, etc…

*A small but very comfortable house. It protects us from the rain, and wind, and the hot Florida sun. It keeps out the stuff we don’t want, and cradles us safely inside.

*Central heat & air also keep us in comfort, regardless of what’s going on outside.

*A refrigerator/freezer that holds all sorts of food for us, until we’re ready to use it. We don’t need to spend hours each day gathering our food for that days meals. It’s all right there, right when we want it

*Hot and cold running water, and electricity. I can’t even imagine needing to walk miles to get fresh drinking water, or using only candles once the sun sets. Can you?

*Constant access to the internet. All of the knowledge available to us through it, the connections made, businesses built

*Easy access to multiple modes of transportation, to allow us to get to places we’d otherwise not experience

And these, all, are just the tip of the iceberg right? I’m betting you could easily add many more yourself.

I don’t write this in an attempt to instigate a guilt trip, but rather to remind myself (and you, if you so desire) that there are so many things that we just take for granted as part of our daily lives. So many things that were not available to generations before. SO many things, that when appreciated, really make life easier & more enjoyable.

Recognizing and appreciating them (feeling it) also tends to make everything else look/feel/seem a bit more shiny…. a bit more full of magick sparkles.

It makes life that much more juicy & yummy.

Do you have anything to add to the list above? Any thoughts/feelings to share? Please do!

Filed Under: Being Real, Gratitude, Simplicity

My gratitude list today

March 6, 2011 By 2 Comments


Sunday, March 06, 2011

I am grateful for sleeping in this morning & not waking to the dude yelling & asking if it’s wake-up time

I’m grateful for hot showers

I’m grateful for my ‘be true to your dreams’ ring and its new association (I am determined!)

I’m grateful for the idea for the above… it came from Pace & Kyeli’s 52 Weeks to Awesome (not an affiliate link). Sweet!

I’m grateful for my music

I’m grateful for an awesome meditation session this morning

I’m grateful for all of the abundance in my life. I really do live in opulence (especially compared to SO many in the world)

I’m grateful for the peace and filled-up feeling from my meditation this morning

I’m grateful for a night out without the kids last night

I’m really grateful for having come across all of this Martha Beck material when I did. The timing is impeccable and the material (and she) are so helpful to me in so many ways right now

I’m grateful for the weekend

I’m grateful that we’ve got someone coming to handle the yard work for us this year. I’m also grateful that he (they) do such an amazing job of it

I’m grateful that I only spent $25 at Target today (budgeted $100.. yay!) and $90 at Publix (budgeted $100… yay!). Extra money I can transfer over into savings. Doing that now!

I’m grateful for this call coming up with My Michelle… it’s much needed today

I’m grateful that this whole money situation is forcing me to look at all that I ALREADY have and appreciate it that much more. I’ve got so many cool things (both material and digital… not to mention all that’s given to me freely every day of my life) that I’ve not had the time or energy to dig into b/c I was always so focused on MORE.

Now, I’m just grateful for it all. Right now. In this moment. I am grateful.

Filed Under: Being Real, Gratitude

Run, baby, run: Part 1

February 20, 2011 By 5 Comments

Have you been running yourself ragged lately, or is it just me?

Seriously. Things have been CRAZY-making in a big way.

Seems like everything has sped up to the point of constantly being in overdrive, and I am quite fried. What about you?

Talking with my friend Michelle yesterday & realized that there are some upsides to this freak-out-speed-up right now.

  • It’s pulled me away from An Experiment In Gratitude & the shift happening for it right now. This is good because I don’t have to feel like I need to push anything, or create contrived change. Instead, it’s shifting in its own time & in its own way (which is yet more crazy-making for a type-A control-freak such as moi… but whatever, dude. Working on rolling with this stuff)
  • It’s gotten so stressful that I’m incredibly aware of it all… and incredibly aware of how insanely unambiguously important it is to slow the fuck down right now. So many times I’ll find myself with my shoulders hanging out somewhere around my ears, and simultaneously realize that I’m not really breathing (rather important detail, that). Doh! Yeah… so slowing down and being present… stuff to do. No. Matter. What.
  • I’m re-assessing (again) what’s important. Like, for reals important. Is it really gonna matter a year from now, or even next month, how quicky the laundry got done… or how spotless the house looks? Is it really going to matter that I stayed late or worked extra from home (nights, weekends, whenever) for my day job in order to help someone out? HELL NO. They won’t even remember or care the next time.. they’ll just want and expect that much more from me. What does matter is that I’m able to be around for my family (more specifically, without biting any heads off), that I’m able to nurture myself (which helps me to be there for my family), that I’m able to give back and contribute in such a way that I feel good about the time I’ve spent on this planet.

So there we are. This crazy freak-out-speed-up is not gonna break’a my stride. (Nobody gonna slow me down.. oh no… I. Got. To. Keep. On. Moving! C’mon.. you know you loved that song.. and that you’re singing it now too… You’re welcome ;-) )

Nope… I’m just gonna slow it all down and see where it goes from here. Been doing pretty well with my daily thank you’s…. and that totally rocks so I’m observing and adjusting as needed.

How’re you handling this crazy fast-forward we all seem to be feeling right now?

Filed Under: Being Real, Transitions

My confession

February 13, 2011 By 10 Comments

As much as I’ve tried to get more real here, something is still not right.

I’ve felt as though I’m “trying to be” rather than just “be(ing)”.

It’s gotten rather exhausting.

This is me

A very good friend recently made a comment about me being like a pendulum… swinging back and forth between the very positive & spiritual version of me… and the darker, edgier version of me. As soon as she said it I knew that it was Truth. (I also knew that I am not *really* strictly one or the other… nor will I pretend to be.)

I wondered why I’d not consciously recognized that little tidbit before. (I have talked about being both dark and light… and the various facets to my personality… just as there are to yours… but I’d not yet put together that I really tend to swing back and forth in the way that I do.)

No matter. It’s there now.

So the question becomes… what do I do with this knowledge? (Oh, and perhaps… why do you care???)

The answer to the former is not one that I’m ready to publicly announce just yet, though I will say that I’ve purchased my brand new domain name and am furiously scribbling notes on all that’s working its way to the surface.

The answer to the latter is this: I know that there are others out there *just like me* who are looking for someone or something to help them get from the constant back-and-forth swinging to a calmer place in the center.  I also know that I can be that someone, and that I am going to create that something.

Will you be along for the ride? Do you know anyone who’s a pendulum as well? (Are YOU a pendulum, perhaps????)

Let’s go, baby… it’s only going to get more exciting from here on in.

Filed Under: Being Real, Transitions

Sometimes, life IS a bitch

February 9, 2011 By 3 Comments

Seriously.

Found out, today, about some shit going on with some folks I love.

It totally sucks, especially because kids are involved and lots of people are hurting from the situation.

The good news is that lots of people are also pulling together to try to make a shitty situation better.

For that, I am deeply grateful.

Life is kind of like that, ya know?

Sometimes, she can be a complete and utter bitch.

And sometimes, her bitchiness is enough to mobilize & bring out something pure and full of love within people.

It’s beautiful to see those moments shine through. It’s also bittersweet, don’t you think?

But that’s life…

And finding the shiny bits amidst the shitty bits? That’s gratitude for real life.

Where in your life do you recognize the shiny despite the shitty (or do you)?

Talk back, will ya???

Filed Under: Being Real, Gratitude
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