Enough. Eee-nuff. Enough.
That’s one of those words that starts to look (and sound) kind of funny when you look at it (and say it) a bunch.
I have been looking at it, and saying it, a bunch lately.
See, I want to know enough.
I want to know it in my bones.
I want to know it so deeply and so completely that it’s never far from my conscious perception.
I want to feel it. Actively. Regularly.
I want to feel fully satisfied. Physcially, mentally, emotionally & spiritually.
Synchronicity
I had been thinking about ‘enough’ yesterday, then I got home to see my Soul Note from Bridget Pilloud’s “Inner Me”.
Guess what it was about??? (Here’s a quote from it:)
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“Inner Me said: Help the people who need your help.
Stop worrying that there won’t be enough.
What is this fixation with enough?
There is always enough of everything, including people who need help.”
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Hmmmm…. Right.
So…. what IS this fixation with enough, anyway???
What’s with all the worry (and the striving and reaching and grasping) about getting more in order to have enough?
It’s so…… yuck.
It’s so yuck that:
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I will eat until I feel physically unwell because, after all, I don’t know when I’ll next get such a treat (if out for a nice dinner, for example). This, even though I’m perfectly capable, financially and otherwise, of going out to dinner (more or less) whenever I damn well please. I’m afraid that there’s not enough for later so I gorge now.
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For years, I have constantly bought new books (mostly non-fiction and within the same few genre’s). This isn’t just a love for books in my case, but a desperate-feeling need for the ‘right’ information. The book that’s finally going to change my life (or at the very least, an important aspect of it). No one book ever has (much as I’ve loved most of them).
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I have continuously spent more and more money (not my money, by the way… but the credit card companies money) on things that I don’t need per se (though it often feels like it in the moment). It always seems like I must have this or that (generally self-development or business related) in order to fulfil some goal or desire.
I know, intellectually, that none of these things are going to fill me to enough-ness. In fact, I almost always feel disgusting afterwards. (I’m sure you know nothing of this particular self-disgust, right???)
But that’s bullshit too.
There is nothing about me (OR YOU) that’s disgusting. We are gorgeous cretaures doing our best in a world that so often feels fucked-up and off balance.
But back to enough…
So I’m wondering now, what does ‘enough’ even look like?
What does it feel like?
Something I’m looking forward to sitting with a bit…. how ’bout you?
What is ‘enough’ for you, and do you know it?
Good question! I know I’m never going to be a minimalist. I love my stuff. (Well most of it, and I’m working on the rest.) I also like to buy more of it, and I like to eat (a lot), and all the other good things there are.
But the times when I get that expansive feeling in my chest of ‘I have all that I need and more’ are not usually (if ever) when I’m contemplating/using/looking at my stuff, or when I’ve just eaten waaaay too much (yes I do that too), or just bought the thing that I really needed to have.
It always seems to be fleeting moments when I maybe notice something like the stripes of sunlight on the wall coming through the blinds, or when I’ve just done a really good Tai Chi session, or been looking at the sea, or when I wake up and know I don’t have to get up straight away.
Which makes me wonder why I carry on eating/buying/having more than I need. I guess, like with everything, it’s about finding a balance. And remembering to notice and be thankful for all the little things. And remembering that the universe will always fill a vacuum so there is no need to fear lack. I’d be interested to know what others think about this too.
Twitter: AngelNSullivan
says:
Oh Tara… I love what you said about that expansive feeling in your chest & when you notice it. And I know, I wonder the exact same things… “why do I keep doing this?”.
Balance is great…. but I want more than that. I want to NOT feel that constant craving for more.
Of course you know I’m totally on board with the noticing and being thankful for the ‘little things’ (which, so often, turn out to be the big things.. don’t they?).
What a great reply. Thanks for stopping by!!
your post made me think of this Lao Tzu quote that I think you will enjoy…
“one who knows that enough is enough, will always have enough.”
Twitter: AngelNSullivan
says:
I DO like that Justene… gotta add that one to the white board. Sweet!
How did you come by this quote?
I’m glad you liked it!
Check out the Book of Tao for more amazing ideas to live by. I can’t say i have read it all, but what I have seen really made me think, the Tao is very “riddle- like”.
Twitter: AngelNSullivan
says:
I’m super-interested in The Tao. I’d listened to and read quite a bit of Wayne Dyers work with The Tao but I’ve not read The Book of Tao myself…. will have to put that one on my list (even though I know that it scrambles my brain
)
Thanks for sharing!
Twitter: onevoicecan
says:
i think you get a really good perspective on “enough” when something happens and what you do have is threatened. so “my job is not satisfying enough” or “i don’t get paid enough” changes dramatically when i am about to lose a job. or “i’m not thin enough” or “tall enough” changes when i get a frightening medical diagnosis. or … well you get the point. so what i have learned is that when we are in the place of “not enough” what we have or what we are will never be enough. But when we are grateful … well then … it is all enough. hugs, michelle.
Twitter: AngelNSullivan
says:
True…. it’s largely a matter of perspective for sure…. and actually, maybe this is why it’s all eating me up so much right now…. I’d gotten away from doing my regular gratitude practice (have since started back up… yet again… aarrrrggghhh), so I’m sure that has a lot to do with it…
But… it also goes beyond that. I’m realizing that my eating issues are directly related to enough. I’ve also realized that come the end of the week when the fridge is looking a bit barren, I start to get *really* stressed out. As soon as I get back from the grocery store & see the fridge & cabinets loaded up with food, I immediately relax.
Concerns over enough (and the perception of lack) is such a big chunk of who I am and how I perceive my world that it can’t help but inform my choices (conscious and otherwise). *THIS* is the part that’s really bonking me on the noggin right now.
I do not want to have to have a situation like one of the ones that you’d listed above, in order to feel enough. We all are intrinsically enough at our core. What I want (need) is to feel that consciously in my every day life (without the drama!).
That’s where I’m going…. That’s a big part of my journey.
Thanks for stopping by, My Michelle… always great to ‘see’ you!
I just came across this: http://jenniferlouden.com/shop_satisfactio/
How weird!
Twitter: AngelNSullivan
says:
That is funny Tara… I’d seen that a while back & had totally forgotten about it… ahhh, I do love synchronicities! Thanks for coming back and posting it!
Twitter: tarynblake71
says:
This is random, but you’re used to randomness from me by now, right?
Do you remember that tv series from the early 90s called Dinosaurs? With the baby dinosaur who whacked his dad on the head with a pot and called him “not the mama”?
Anywho, there was an episode where Robbie(the older son) had to write a paper about why dinosaurs rule the earth, and he listened to his parents’ anniversary dinner graptilites and wrote that it was because they were smart enough not to eat all the grapes. His teacher gave him an F and wrote that there is always more because that’s what more means.
Maybe we’re enough because that’s what enough means?
I promise this made sense in my head before I started typing…..
Twitter: AngelNSullivan
says:
I wouldn’t change a thing about you, including your randomness… without it, you’re not Taryn (and that wouldn’t be acceptable
)
“Not the mama!!”, yes I actually do remember that (surprisingly!).
“Maybe we’re enough because that’s what enough means?”
Hmmmm… more food for thought… you are always good for that chicky
Thanks for stopping by!